Saying Goodbye

Beautiful Haiti

Saying goodbye has never been easy for me.  Saying goodbye before what I foresaw as my time is even harder.  Today, I am leaving Haiti and Mission of Hope and an amazingly positive, transforming, life-changing chapter of my journey is coming to a close.


My heart in signing back on with this amazing organization in September 2012 was to assimilate into a position that would eventually be able to transition into a role for new Haitian employees and I was prepared to be here until that was able to take place.  Excitingly for Mission of Hope and unfortunately for my desire to be with my Haiti family and these amazingly-powerful relationships that we have built along the way as long as possible, we have reached that phase sooner than many could have expected.

While I still cannot quite fathom being away from the 65 little ones who have grown to be not so little over the past three years, the Child Sponsorship team of guys that were able to persevere despite any and all crazy deadlines that were thrown their way and the entire staff who saw me through the most discouraging setbacks and the most incredible triumphs and because of that is more like family than anything else, I know that this time of change brings with it amazing potential for the growth of Mission of Hope and for myself.  I must know and trust through all of this that God works everything out for the good of those who love him.  In my deep sorrow for saying goodbye, this pain also signifies the end of an overwhelmingly-rewarding project and the accomplishment of many goals that if told to me three years ago, I never would have been able to fathom.  It brings with it the transformation of our sponsorship program, making it virtually entirely Haitian run in country and rewarding those who have seen it through since the beginning.  It also brings with it the completion of the framework for our transitional program for the young adults assimilating back into the Haitian community from the orphanage- a program that I have been praying about and planning for years now and cannot be more honored that I was entrusted with such a crucial task.

Too much love for a body of water to ever separate us.

Moving forward, I cannot say thank you enough to everyone who has stood by me in this trying and tremendous journey.  Living in Haiti has never been easy but it has never been regretted.  From those of you who prayed fearlessly, gave financially, offered a shoulder to cry on in times of need or literally danced with me at the end of a long week- I walk away feeling exponentially blessed for your support and for the relationships that have flourished through all of this.  At least for awhile, it will be feel impossible to be forced to wake up to the sound of an alarm clock rather than a chorus of children singing in the orphanage kitchen on the weekends. I will miss not having personal space and always prying dozens of tiny fingers out of my hair.  I will miss friends that can never be replaced because we share something that few can comprehend.  I will miss everything about Haiti.  I cannot wait to see God's plan for Mission of Hope throughout this period of change, for the kids, for our schools and even for me.  The unknown moving forward is frightening but brings with it so much potential.  I look forward to sharing that journey with all of you.

All of my love for the last time from Mission of Hope,

Beth

Last night in Haiti : incredible friends praying and tackling me through it.

Anxiously Waiting...

As I sit here anxiously waiting for my family to arrive, literally minutes away from leaving for the airport, it is almost impossible for me to keep my cool.  I cannot believe how incredibly blessed I am that I have a family who loves me enough to leave the country, no questions asked, for the biggest holiday of the year just catch a short glimpse into my life here.  In just a few hours, my sister will get to sing and dance with the girls who I have talked about for years, my brother and dad will start up a basketball game with the boys and my mom will almost certainly shed some happy tears as she holds the little children who have stolen my heart and been  our main topic of conversation for so long now.

Sonese at Christmastime last year

These past few years of learning about and loving Haiti have been such a whirlwind and the best gift I could have ever asked for in a time when I was so uncertain about where my life was going.  It makes me smile to sit here and think about how my family will react to experiencing things that have just become an average part of my daily life: the tap taps (taxis) overflowing with people to the point where belongings and even live animals are piled on the roof, the crazy traffic and driving that will (I'm sure) cause my mom to become a nervous wreck, the heat that is even more stifling than Texas weather, the beautiful people and kind faces that stop to say hello no matter what they are doing and waking up to the sound of 65 children singing and praising God every morning.

Soudline getting ready for her first Christmas pictures

It almost does not seem real that I am on my way to pick up my family and show them this world.  I could not have asked for a better Christmas gift.  If my family is even half as excited as I am that they will be sharing time here with the kids and me, this will be the best Christmas ever!

A Little Bit of Thanksgiving

At the beginning of this week, I wasn’t feeling particularly thankful.  It was surprisingly easy for me to focus on what I felt like I was missing back home: everyone beginning their long holiday weekends, posted pictures of delicious food of which I would not be able to partake and this year being the first Thanksgiving that my family would not be together.  I spent a majority of Monday and Tuesday dwelling on these thoughts and labeling them as missed opportunities.

That all came to a screeching halt on Wednesday afternoon when I was graciously smacked in the face with a little bit of perspective.  As I sat down to eat our ever-monotonous lunch choices of peanut butter and jelly or tuna salad, I overheard a friend of mine discussing the exact feelings that I had been struggling with internally.  Instead of continuing to focus on family back home and what we were missing, he turned to look out over the mountains, towards the water, and simply said, “We have so much to be thankful for here.”  Immediately, things snapped into focus as I thought, “Duh!  Why didn’t I think of that?!”  How selfish of me to live in a country where there is so much need, having all of my needs met, and still focusing on the things I can’t have.

In an attempt to counteract my extreme nearsightedness leading up to a holiday where we are supposed to focus on and be thankful for our many blessings, here are a list of things that I love about my life in Haiti and would never trade for any amount of turkey and stuffing: 

• The opportunity to live in a country with so much potential and perseverance
• 3,000 students who I work with in freshly-pressed uniforms that daily commit to attending school at Mission of Hope despite the fact that education in Haiti is not mandatory
• A job right out of college that I LOVE
• The feeling of safety at Mission of Hope
• Two 15-pound turkeys that Publix donated to us for free so that we can have a little bit of home here in Haiti
• An amazing kitchen staff that worked all day on Thursday just to attempt to make us a traditional, American Thanksgiving dinner- even if it did involve unidentifiable toast & beef entrées (Thanksgiving is not celebrated in Haiti)
• Books that keep me inspired
• Access to a car that lets me explore Port-au-Prince every Saturday with friends
• A new internet tower with clear reception that allowed me to Skype into my family’s Thanksgiving dinner and almost feel like I’m homeThanksgiving day marking exactly one month until I greet my family at the Port-au-Prince airport for the first time
• The Haitian people whose lives and faith constantly humble me
• And 65 kids that think my name is “Cow” (Bef) and love me anyway.

Thankful for 2 of the newest editions to the Village of Hope: Rose Myrtha (Left) and Soudnell

Eating Thanksgiving dinner with my family via Skype

Especially thankful for 5 Kindergarten uniforms hanging on the line for our youngest Village of Hope kiddos now in school!

Home

Port-au-Prince, Haiti

Today we begin to slowly make our way back to normal after a week of Hurricane Sandy-related mayhem two weeks ago and a long weekend this past Thursday and Friday surrounding a national holiday.  While the storm came and went and is mostly forgotten by those not life-threateningly affected here, the devastation still being reported in New York City has been ever-present in my thoughts and prayers lately as I have struggled with placing my emotions on what is happening back home and feeling so cut off from a city that has been so much a part of my life.  It’s almost a surreal experience now to be in exactly the opposite situation than that which I have grown accustomed to.  For the past two years, I have known that I was called to return to Haiti and have lived with that truth at the forefront of most of my decision-making processes.  Anyone who got to know me during those two years, regardless of our level of connection, could tell you at least one thing: I ALWAYS talked about Haiti.   I strived to stay connected in as many ways as possible with the people of Haiti and friends who travelled back and forth as I experienced the difficulty of being physically removed from a place you call home when there is news of devastation or change and you feel almost as if you are being left behind.  For two years I felt that way about Haiti while living in New York City.  Now I am finally here; living in Haiti after all of the time that I spent saying, “after I graduate, I’m moving back to Haiti.”  And now I am experiencing that being here evokes the same emotions about friends and family in my other “homes” just as being in New York revealed my passion and longing for Haiti.  It is an extremely powerful feeling to realize that so many places and people have touched your life in such a way that a piece of your heart will always remain there with them.    

So in this time, I am feeling that same “longing” and struggle with being removed from New York City as it fights to pick up its broken and flooded pieces and work together to return to a state of normalcy.   I was at a complete loss for how to feel as I spoke with friends and they assured me of their safety despite their loss of power and their emergency evacuations.  Trying to feel as a part of the happenings as possible, I was constantly searching for the latest updates from social networks, news sites and pictures.   I found myself moved by those who were discovering gratitude in the face of adversity for their daily blessings and struggled with my placing my emotions surrounding people claiming that New York City was the “new third world” or making jokes in bad taste about being forced to live like many of those who I live and work with on a daily basis.  I went through just about every emotion and battled with how to feel given the circumstances: helplessness due to my inability to help or see anything going on in New York firsthand; frustration with those who spoke so tastelessly in the face of their own discomfort; respect for those who faced adversity and reached out to help others despite their own discomfort; until I settled on one- thankfulness.

In an uncharacteristically packed Sunday church service this morning, one of our pastors mentioned New York City and the bond we share with its residents as we have all been affected by Hurricane Sandy.  He went on to ask that we keep New York in our prayers as they fight to rebuild their city and remain unified in the wake of a disaster.  Immediately, thankfulness swept over me.  I am so incredibly thankful to have had the privilege of living in New York City for two years and to meet some of the most amazingly unique and selfless people that I will ever know.  I am thankful that I continue to receive updates from people confirming their safety and continuing to actively seek out ways that they can help their city get back on its feet.  And most of all, I am thankful to live in Haiti.  I’m thankful that despite having so little and experiencing such unthinkable destruction of their own, the people of Haiti are faithful, selfless and gracious enough to think of others who struggle.  New York City, Haiti is praying for you.

View of New York City from downtown on the Hudson River

Just Another Day in Child Sponsorships

These past three weeks in Child Sponsorships have been filled to the brim with first month of school necessities.  And while it is such a blessing to have 3,000 students enrolled in our three different campuses this year, this means the three of us on staff for Child Sponsorships here in Haiti have had to buckle down, enter each student into the new database one-by-one and get school year photos taken in time to send out a profile card to all sponsors by November!  As eventful as all of that has been, praise God that our last scheduled day of pictures was this past Friday at our newest campus in the mountains, Lascahobas, where almost 200 students are now enrolled. 

Our beautiful mountain campus at Lascahobas

Getting to this school that is tucked away up in the mountains was far more adventurous for our small team than the actual picture-taking process.  As we all piled into the very compact, very hot car that was assigned to us for the day, I’m sure few of us were actually prepared for the fact that it would take us almost three hours on windy, uphill, unpaved roads to find our way to Lascahobas.  (If the guys did know about our adrenaline-filled car ride, they were smart to keep it a secret from me.)  Finally arriving at the school’s gates (and kissing the ground out of sheer thankfulness for our survival), I immediately became anxious.  Where were all of the students?  Why was it so quiet?  Mission of Hope’s main campus is always bustling with students going to and from their classes, enjoying their breaks and socializing with friends.  Could it have been possible that this campus hadn’t even started school yet and that we took that insane car ride for nothing?  Walking around to the main school building, I was shocked.  Not only were the students all in attendance, but they were all completely silent, sitting at their desks and learning.  Even the tiniest toddlers were perched in their miniature chairs, listening intently to the words of their teachers.  It was almost an out-of-body experience for all of us as we lined the students up for their pictures and they continued to stand completely still and obedient. 

Despite the fact that our time spent in the car that day far outweighed our actual time on the ground, it was such an inspirational experience for me to have the privilege of spending time with the children at our mountain campus.  While the students at our other two campuses are equally as amazing in their own right, being able to see the vast influence that Mission of Hope has in Haiti to the point where we are reaching all the way out into small, untouched, oftentimes forgotten villages in the mountains is incredible.  My heart was also being worked on during this trip as I had recently been having a hard time understanding why our schools are subject to such high rates of student absences.   I already understood and was trying to accept the fact that school is not mandatory in Haiti and that can potentially lead to a lack of motivation; but if your schooling was already being paid for, why wouldn’t you attend?  Traveling up those windy roads into the mountains opened my eyes to just how difficult it is for a majority of our students to even make it to school at all.  I watched hundreds of students trek up the rocky terrain to their various schools as we made our ascent, oftentimes having to walk along curves that are blind to oncoming cars with their younger siblings in hand.  Even many students at our main campus travel from far up in the mountains just for an opportunity to be the first in their family to receive an education.   Driving back home last Friday and fighting to stay awake from the exhaustion that came with heightened emotions from our trip, I prayed that the understanding and sympathy to the various situations of others would stay with me during the entirety of my time with Child Sponsorships, even on those days when I am frustrated that our attendance is low during a tropical storm or those many times when a student can’t find a way to make it to school on the one day that their sponsor has come to visit them from the United States.  Watching those children climb up the side of the mountain and already take such pride and ownership of their education made me even more thankful for mine: for the air conditioned classrooms where I sat and worked, for the abundance of supplies that just seemed to regenerate in the various classes throughout the school and especially for the school bus that got me there.

The students of School of Hope: Lascahobas

Change For A Nation: One Student At A Time

Thousands of students at Mission of Hope's main campus lined up for the first day of the school year.

It’s pretty safe to say that I wouldn’t believe half of these transformations if I didn’t see them with my own eyes.  How could it be that the girl whose legs were comparable to Jell-O when she was abandoned by her father, the twins who could fit in the palm of your hand and the little boy who didn’t even have the strength to lift his own head experience such drastic recoveries that just two years later, they would be running down the dusty mountain to participate in their first day of school?  Anjelie, Hannah, Jeremiah and Matthew are just four of the students at the School of Hope: four whose stories I happen to know.   The fact that there is a record-breaking 3,000 other students who found their way to school today from all over the country to participate in their first day at one of Mission of Hope’s three campuses is miraculous in its own right.  Three thousand students whose names I may not know or faces I may not recognize, but students who all have a unique story. 

Anjelie (left) in April of 2010 with sores covering her body and legs that were not functioning and (right) today, October of 2012, on her first day of school.

With uniforms sewn and backpacks packed, students lined up this morning at 7am, ready to go.  To see the direct impact of Child Sponsorships being laid out right before my eyes in this magnitude is something that I will never forget.  All of these children together in one place, while powerful in its own right, represent much more than the schools of Mission of Hope and the students themselves: they represent the future of the nation, the possibilities for their families and the thousands of individuals and groups in North America who have committed to sponsor them throughout their education.  Mission of Hope’s goal to reach every man, woman and child in Haiti is being realized one student at a time today as they sit down in their classrooms and open their books for the 2012-2013 school year.   It is such an honor for me to be able to continually share the transformations and life change in Haiti with all of you and I look forward to more moments like today that can be explained no other way but miraculous.  Please continue to pray as we begin taking our school pictures next week with, for the first time ever, a Haitian photography staff.

Young Hope

Young Hope members L to R: Jeanson, Elisson, Lumaine, Mansado, Galaxson & Wilson

 Seeing the Village of Hope kids every day, you sometimes start to forget or take for granted how amazingly talented they are.  Ok that’s not true, they are stinkin’ amazing and continuously blow my mind with their love for God, their love for each other and their realization and utilization of their God-given abilities.  Over the past few months, six of our Village of Hope young men and women have come together in an inspiring way.  Realizing that they all had a unique talent with their voices, they almost completely independently created their singing and rap group named Young Hope in which they write their own songs, practice harmonies and sing about trusting God in every situation and bringing change to the nation of Haiti.  This past Sunday, Young Hope had a chance to perform at a concert for the first time outside of the walls of Mission of Hope at a church in Port-au-Prince called Eglise Sur Le Rocher (Church on the Rock).

Bernadine dressed and ready for the bus ride to Port-au-Prince!

It was an incredible experience to watch Jeanson, Elisson, Mansado, Wilson, Galaxson and Lumaine (the members of Young Hope) as they practiced daily for their show, coordinated their outfits and fought through a plethora of preshow emotions together.  Not only is it amazing that these kids have overcome all of the past obstacles that a young child should never have to deal with, but the fact that they have showed perseverance and resiliency in the face of adversity throughout everything is inspirational.   As we all loaded onto the bus with every Village of Hope child and employee, it was made extremely clear to us by Young Hope that we were not allowed to leave for the concert without praying first.   After praying together as a family on the bus, we made our way to Port-au-Prince, everyone singing and jumping up and down with excitement as we went.   Young Hope’s preparation and calm before the show was almost surreal- especially as many of us seemed to be feeling all of the anticipation and nerves for them!  The six of them huddled together as a group before their act went on; they prayed, shared some words and then united with a group chant.  Shortly after, they confidently walked on stage, proceeded to rile the crowd and then blew everyone away, finishing their three-song set with lyrics about praising God even when we are hungry, tired and hopeless.  Even though the concert ran late, it was raining and everyone was tired, nothing could have stopped the excitement of the Village of Hope children as they continued to cheer for Young Hope and sing all the way back home.

Young Hope coming together for their pre-show pep talk.

Not only was Young Hope’s concert a unique and life-changing opportunity for them, but what an incredible initiation for me personally!  At a time when I have felt led to move here and work with these children to help prepare them as much as possible for their eventual transition into the community, what better way to see the amazing ways they are actively planning for their futures and already using their talents than to watch six of them working together and already bringing hope to people outside of the walls of Mission of Hope?  As our program continues to develop in its beginning stages, I cannot wait or even begin to imagine all of the incredible talents I will begin to see in these kids and will have the honor of helping them figure out where they can use their talents in the future.  There are endless possibilities for these young men and women and I am thrilled to be able to watch their journey from the front line.

Day 1

                 

Wow, I’m exhausted!  I can’t believe that the day I have been talking about with the kids for two years was actually today.  And who would’ve known it would go so much differently than expected.  Everyone expects when they return to a place where they are loved to be greeted with arms wide open, big smiles and tears of joy.  Ya, not so much!  It would be so easy (and probably much more uplifting to read) to fake it and say that my reunion with the Village of Hope kids was nothing short of Oscar-worthy.  But I guess in this case, uplifting is overrated.  I could not have been more excited to drive onto the Mission today and stopped just short of jumping out of the moving truck to greet the kids… only to be met by rolling eyes, questions about why I cut my hair and accusations that I would never actually commit to staying in Haiti with them for any significant amount of time. 

My initial reaction is to be like: seriously?! I just committed to AT LEAST a year with you people… don’t I deserve some kind of credit?!  What a letdown.  After literally imagining this day every day for the past 2 years, that is how it went.   I don’t know much about much and have almost no credibility when it comes to talking about anything concerning faith, but I am confident in the fact that the one thing that can shake me is absence of admiration in those kids towards me.  Just about the only thing that can make me question what I’m doing here is those kids questioning my love for them.  And look at what happens- exactly that!  I could pretty confidently put money on it at this point that Satan is using his most powerful weapon against me to convince me that coming here was a mistake.  Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to commit to a whole year!  Maybe I should’ve just gone straight into grad school.  At least there’s air conditioning in the United States!... and also french fries.

Unfortunately for Satan, we’ve been down this path before and you’d think he would’ve learned his lesson the last time that he tried to pull this exact same trick on me.  No amount of insecurity on my part could ever take away from the experiences I have already had and the memories I will surely make in the future with these kids.  The side-splitting laughter that can be heard whenever I try to join in on their choreographed dances, the annoyingly-difficult Kreyol lessons taught to me by six different 7-year-olds at once, the trips to the beach with kids so excited that our bus filled with songs can be heard from miles down the road and the tears that I’ve wiped off the little ones as we say goodbye.  None of those memories can ever be taken from me or from the kids.  No matter how their growing and (sometimes slowly) maturing minds tell them to act one day, I stand firm in the fact that each and every one of them knows and cherishes the love I have for them.   I can’t wait to write again, laughing about how shaken I was by their greeting today.  I can’t wait to relive a moment like so many in the past where carrying five chickens in my hands down the streets of the market in Cabaret for the younger boys to have as pets is a normal day or watching two little boys who were thought to be too malnourished to ever live, let alone walk, strut past me holding hands as a regular, everyday occurrence. 

How can any other plan I may have had for myself compare to 365 days filled with potential like that?!  I’m pretty positive I could never conjure up a more amazing opportunity on my own.  God certainly has a sense of humor: taking the girl that only applied to Texas schools out of high school out of fear to leave home and the girl who had to be heavily medicated anytime she got on a plane to a place thousands of miles away in a country that is DEFINITELY not Texas and understatedly more than a quick car ride away.  As I lay down tonight to think about starting my first day tomorrow in the MOH office, I can’t help but dream about the potential for growth in my new position, get excited about the possibility for life change in so many Haitian individuals and maybe even squeal a little about the fact that these kids won’t be able to get rid of me- even if they tried.

On Your Mark, Get Set....

With all of the exciting changes that have been happening over the past few months, I cannot believe that the summer is almost over.  That means packing up my life in New York City, saying some very hard goodbyes and making the big move to Haiti where I will begin my work as Mission of Hope's newest staff member in just one short month!  I could not be more blessed to have so many friends and family that have been inquiring as to my finalized position with MOH and have been completely overwhelmed by the amount of support that I have already begun to receive.  For those of you who have been on this ride with me since the beginning, complete information as to my new job and pending move is on its way to you as I type (thanks for sticking with me).

What I Will Be Doing

While I am always in awe of the ever-expanding reach of Mission of Hope’s influence every time I return, I constantly feel myself being called back to the schools and orphanage to work with the children.  Because of this, I could not be more pleased that I have been named both the Sponsorship Coordinator for MOH in Haiti as well as Children’s Counselor and have committed to live in Haiti initially for one year starting in September 2012.  I am deeply humbled by Mission of Hope’s allowance of me to work in areas that are so rapidly expanding and have so much room for growth.  What started out as a small school on MOH’s campus has turned into multiple schools around the country with thousands of students, every single one of them needing sponsors.  With plans to build even more schools and fill them with even more students, it will be my job to manage a program that will effectively collect the data of every student, make sure they are sponsored, ensure that their sponsors are receiving correct, timely and intimate correspondence from their student and vice versa.  This job alone comes with great responsibility and I am anxiously diving in to learn more about the sponsorship process and how we can continue to educate the nation of Haiti.

As Children’s Counselor, I am blessed to be creating a program that will help guide and support those young adults who will be transitioning out of Mission of Hope in the coming years and into daily life as a Haitian citizen.  Making my visits to MOH over the past couple of years and catching up with the 60+ kids at the Village of Hope (MOH’s on-site orphanage), it began to hit me that these children are growing up quickly!  Generally speaking, children in Haiti look much younger than they actually are and it is oftentimes difficult to guess their age correctly.  Looking back at their documented birthdates, I realized that a staggering 49% of the children at the Village of Hope are at or over the age of thirteen!  This means that almost half of the family is at an age where they should begin considering their future with or outside of Mission of Hope.  It is my goal as Children’s Counselor to create a program that will help support them in their transitioning time, getting to know their strengths and aspirations, plugging them into apprenticeships where they can study and learn, and looking into their options for furthering their education or starting careers.  This is a program that I hope to expand not only to all of the children at the Village of Hope, but also to every student attending any of the schools funded by Mission of Hope.

How You Can Support

It is always such an encouragement to me to look at the great amount of responsibility I have been given with MOH, realize that it is way too much to handle in my own power and see a constant stream of support coming in various forms from people that are just as passionate about the work being done in Haiti as I am.  There are many ways that you can continue to support both Mission of Hope and myself throughout the coming year.  The first thing that I would ask everyone to do is simply to pray.  I know now more than ever that I need to stay in constant prayer and trust God with my uncertainties and anxiety about the coming year.  I ask that all of you continue to pray for my life in Haiti: for confidence in my new job, safety, health, for the children with whom I will be working, etc.  This more than anything is what I hope you will commit to do in support.  Another way you can support the work being done at Mission of Hope is to stay connected.  I have created a home webpage (www.about.me/bethfionda) that will make it easier than ever to receive updates from my blog, pictures of the kids and links to all of my social networks that will have new information posted weekly.  If it interests you, I also ask that you send me an email to my new address, bethf@mohhaiti.org to become a part of the mailing group where I will be sending out regular email updates.  The last way that I hope that you will consider supporting is financially.  All Mission of Hope staff members continue to live and work in Haiti based on their financial support that is raised monthly to cover the cost of living healthily and safely.  If you are interested in donating to either my life in Haiti or any of Mission of Hope's areas of influence, I have provided a link on my homepage that will take you directly to my donation site.  For more information on how to donate via mail, please send me an email.

I want to again thank everyone who has supported me over the past few years: to my family who has never second-guessed my passion for the Haitian people; to my friends who have probably heard my favorite stories about the kids way more than they would like and to those of you whom I have never even met but continue to follow my story; your support is an inspiration to me and I thank you.

These adorable faces also thank you!

A Change is Gonna Come

It feels like just yesterday that I left Haiti in June of 2010 saying, "As soon as I graduate, I'll be back here." But then again, so much has happened since then that I cannot believe how much God has blessed me with what I have experienced and how many memories I have managed to pack into such a short amount of time. Two years later, I am graduating from NYU in just a month (fingers crossed, you never know) have traveled to placed like Beijing and Sicily (all in the name of research, of course), have made incredible lifelong friends and, of course, have been back and forth to Haiti as much as possible. With all of the blessings that have been coming my way, it is almost unbelieveable that Mission of Hope would come to me just a month before my graduation date offering me a position on staff starting in the Fall!

Me at the Great Wall of China

The beautiful fields of Corleone in Sicily
Of course, it took almost no thought for me to know that this is exactly where God wants me to be starting in September since it has been on the top of my daily prayer list since the day I moved back home two summers ago. And just like I said then, as soon as I graduate, I'll be back! So it is with great pleasure and thankfulness that I can announce that I will be working with Mission of Hope this coming Fall, committing intially for one year. I look forward to sharing more details and plans as my departure date draws near and will do my best to keep this blog updated with exciting stories, struggles and triumphs throughout this inevitably-eventful journey. I want to thank everyone who supported me financially and prayerfully through my initial trips to Haiti and who will be supporting me in the future as well. If you would like any information about my big move, Mission of Hope or how you can support, please don't hesitate to call, text, email or comment. Thank you all again for your continued support because without you, none of this would be possible!

Above: Just a couple of pictures from my wonderful visits to Haiti over the past two years

A Big Day

Yesterday was just another normal Sunday at the Mission of Hope- NOT!!! I should know better than to expect that by now. But what I thought was going to be just a relaxing day planning for my last week turned into so much more.

To start off, this past Friday was Mother's Day here in Haiti so church turned into an all-out, 3 hour celebration. It started off with normal praise and worship and somehow turned into a Haitian game show, complete with catchy music, cheering and dancing up and down the aisles. Granted, it took me until about thirty minutes into the game to understand what was actually happening, but once I caught on, I realized that this Bible trivia was going to last a long time. About an hour later, the game was wrapping up and all the mothers were called to the stage for special recognition. Imagine my surpise when all of the Hope House children tried to pull me on stage with the rest of the moms, claiming that I was their "manmie" too. Let me tell you, there aren't many greater feelings than that!

After church many of us rushed upstairs to start making food for our big day. Since it was my last weekend with the children, I planned a special beach day for them, the mommies and the supervisors to show them how grateful I was for allowing me into their family for so long. With the help of many people here at the mission, we were able to make a picnic lunch for over 100 people, get changed for the beach and load all of those 100 people (sixty of those being crazy, excited children) onto a bus headed for the beach in just over thirty minutes. I don't think I officially caught my breath until this morning!

Miseline and Chrismene during their long-lasting water fight

What a wonderful time at the beach! I don't think I can even explain the sense of joy I felt to watch the mommies dip their toes in the water and the kids jumping in the waves, completely carefree for a few hours. Even the bus ride home was filled with excitement. Although we had at least four people in each seat and the aisles filled with supplies and people, it didn't stop the kids from singing and dancing the entire way home- what an amazing ending to an amazing journey! After all of the minor setbacks, frustrating days and change of plans, it was such a treat to spend some uninterrupted time together.

Esther was very proud of her fancy bathing suit

Thank you to everyone who helped make our beach day a success and also to everyone back home who has supported me throughout this time!

Wrapping Up

I cannot believe that I only have a week left here; I'm not sure how I will be able to leave these kids and this place that has become such a home these past months.

While I thought about what to share this week, I couldn't help but think back to the beginning of this jounrey. Although it has flown by as a whole, the first few weeks seem like decades ago. I couldn't help but laugh thinking about my first week where my only English-speaking assitance was out with malaria, I was making worksheets and copying them by hand and honestly spent all of my free time figuring out how to even begin English classes with no common language and students ecompassing every skill level possible.

It's hard to even imagine those days now. My relationship with both the children and the mommies have come so far that figuring out what to teach is almost instantaneous and the daily setbacks have become more humorous than frustrating. As a person who always "needs" for everything to go exactly according to plan, Haiti has taught me wonderful life lessons. Even if the speaker for the movie doesn't work for the first thirty minutes or we have to start class an hour late because a study group has decided to use the only open classroom, the kids are still just as happy that we are spending time together. It really puts things in perspective.

Each and every child at the Hope House is special to me in their own way. It's very refreshing and almost overwhelming to feel such constant and unconditional love at all times from people who didn't even know you this time last year. It will be a struggle to leave knowing that I won't be rushed by a mob of children calling me cow (Bef) every morning or pulling on my hair, arguing over which one gets to braid it that day.

I am officially Haitian- I've got the hair to prove it!

I am so thankful for my time here in Haiti. This is a special place that can not be left in the past; Haiti will always hold a special place in my heart and will be visitied often. I have made so many zanmi pou toujou (friends forever) that this will always be a second home.

Me with my wonderful staff friends on our mountain climb.

Angelie

Precious little Angelie

Over a week ago, a man came into the clinic with his very sick infant daughter. He never gave her name, but it was obvious from the beginning that she was very sick and malnourished, not even able to lift her head or move her legs. While waiting to be seen, the father handed his daughter off, saying he needed to use the restroom, and never came back.

From that point on, this precious little girl has been living at the Ward, constantly watched by the mommies at the orphanage and different nurses. She was given the name Angelie and is getting stronger everyday. Now eating rice and beans, she can move her feet and suck her thumb. While it would be ideal for Angelie to spend time at the Hope House with the other children, she is not yet strong enough to survive without constant care. I had never before held a baby that wasn't strong enough to move on its own or even open its eyes for more than a few seconds.

Please pray for Angelie as the Mission of Hope is trying to decide the best situation for her. While it would be possible for her to become a Hope House kid, certain papers are needed and without the family present, there is no telling how long that process could take. Angelie is a beautiful little girl and it breaks my heart that anyone could leave their child behind, especially her. But I am confident that she will receive better care and will be able to thrive more here than she would living in poverty. This is truly a blessing in disguise.

Time to Pray!

This week is incredibly eventful and has been much anticipated. Today is Flag Day, the Haitian equivalent to the 4th of July and the kids have not had school both yesterday and today. On top of that, the OU girls basketball team is here to have a basketball camp with the kids all week; meaning that for the past two days, I have just been able to spend quality time at the Hope House with those precious children. But in the midst of all the excitement, I am constantly reminded that this place needs to be lifted up in prayer at all times; and the moment I let my guard down is when this hits me the most.

Nicole and me at the river in Cabaret

On Friday, my good friend Nicole, one of the oldest girls at the Hope House, came to me with the news that her brother, only 19 years old, had been killed that day. She was surprisingly calm, as if this wasn't a new situation for her or anyone involved, which is extremely saddening to me. His funeral was yesterday and she was still back in time for our special Flag Day movie night, ready to converse with her friends. The strength that the people of Haiti have is incredible; but I have begun to notice that this "strength" that I have admired in them for so long is almost a hardening of their hearts. Living in a place with so much pain and suffering, many of them have become so hardened that it is hard for them to feel any pain at all.

The next day, I visited the Good Samartian orphanage in Cabaret. Despite it's name, it was one of the worst excuses for an orphanage I had ever seen. While most of their buildings had been destroyed by the earthquake and all of the kids were huddled under a tarp, half-dressed, bathing in the same dirty river from which they were drinking. Some were so sick and weak that they couldn't even swat the flies and gnats away from their face. But of course, these children weren't in plain sight, they were hidden behind closed doors so we couldn't easily see them. Coming from the Hope House where the kids are joyful because they are loved and nourished, it was heart-wrenching to see these children. They were eerily silent because they didn't have the energy to express any sort of emotion and could barely gather up the strength to sing a simple song with us. These are the times when I wonder- what else can be done? There has to be a solution...

Kids at the Good Samartian orphanage- this boy didn't move from that spot the entire afternoon

Sunday is usually a day of rest here at the mission. The clinic is closed so even the doctors and nurses are able to attend church, go to lunch and then relax. But this past Sunday was by far a different story. Just as it was starting to get dark, Tap-Taps (the Haitian version of a taxi) poured into the gates of the Mission of Hope, bringing half-conscious people up the the clinic. After looking in one of the trucks, I realized that most of them were American. On a trip down one of the mountains right next to the mission, a truck carrying a group of around 25 Americans and a few Haitians lost its breaks, swerving down the hill and eventually rolling the rest of the way down. All of the doctors, nurses and even physical therapists rushed to their aid while I helplessly sat above the clinic, watching people pour in without any skin left on their faces or rocks stuck in their skulls. It is times like these that I fail to understand God's plan for the situation. I have always been told that God will protect me while I am here in Haiti- "I am doing wonderful things and he will watch after me". But these people from Illinois were here for the same purpose; and with their flight the next morning, they just wanted to take a casual drive through the mountains. I thought about all of the families that weren't even informed that their loved ones were in danger. All I could do was pray.

After three people were taken directly to Miami by helicopter that night, the rest of the group miraculously made their flight back home the next morning. While many are still in critical condition, everyone survived the gruesome accident. There was one leg and one hand amputation but lives were not lost. I still cannot comprehend how a woman can get on a flight in the morning when she was convinced she was at a WalMart with George Bush Sr. as the president the night before. That is the power of prayer.

Constant Reminders

Clara and me at church on Sunday

WOW!! Another week in Haiti has flown by and I've honestly lost track... it seems like it was just yesterday that the Hope House kids were running up to the truck to greet me upon my arrival.

English classes were very successful this week. My youngest classes now know the days of the week, months of the year and numbers to 100; along with many fun English songs that we practice during class and then sing together at movie nights. My oldest class is really getting into the book Holes, and after reading on Wednesday, the kids wouldn't get out of their chairs... they wanted to read more and sat there until I agreed to "just one more chapter." The mommies are now having small conversations in English with eachother during class and are excited after class to teach me some Creole.

Volleyball at the Hope House is starting to get pretty competative and I LOVE it! Of course, time spent playing with the little ones is very carefree. We will bump and set across the net and I love watching the kids jump for joy when the ball goes in the right direction. But when the older kids step on the court, it's time to get serious! Just like any regular game, there's arguing over bad calls, cheering during exciting points, and even a little bit of light-hearted smack-talking. I am so glad that the children are loving this sport in which I have invested so much of my time throughout my life. Even with a language barrier, I am constantly finding more common interests that strengthen my relationship with each child.

_______________________

While most of my time is spent with the wonderful children at the Hope House, I do go out into town a few times a week and it is always a reminder that while the kids I am teaching are so joyful and thankful for how they live, right outside the walls of the Mission of Hope, a nation is still writhing from disaster.

Just last weekend, I was taken on a trip into Port au Prince to visit some of the other hospitals in Haiti. On our way, we stopped at the mass graves right outside the village of Titanyen where it has been said that 100,000 people are buried. Although it is a very powerful place to visit, it did not quite hit me that so much heartache was buried here until I looked down to see the skull of a child laying carelessly next to my feet with its vertebrae and ribs scattered a few feet away. What a sad reminder of how many people were tossed there, without a proper burial, because the death toll was so overwhelmingly high. Visiting the hospitals was another reality-check for me and the smell of death is a memory I will never forget. It is something that I smelled upon arriving at both hospitals in Port au Prince and was almost too overwhelming to stand when I walked through the morgues. I could not believe that people were strewn across the streets outside the morgue, fresh out of a surgery that was done in a room without a ceiling.

So many amazing things are happening in this nation. Although it is hard to see that there is still so much suffering happening today, it is definitely a motivation that the work happening here is not in vain. Going out into the villages makes me thank God even more that the amazing children at the Hope House are giving the opportunity to thrive in an environment where they are given nutrition, education and an opportunity to build a relationship with Christ. I truly believe that these kids will be the leaders of the next generation here in Haiti.

Wilner, Macline, Mansado, Samuel and Thamara-

Some of the beautiful Hope House kids

Rachel #2

Hello everyone!

Sorry for my absence on my blog lately; unfortunately, my computer has fried and is on it's way back to Austin to see if it can be salvaged. Until then, I will do my best to keep everyone updated as often as possible.

Each week is going by faster than the last as I get more comfortable and confident in my classes and in my relationships with the children. Word must be getting out about English classes at the Hope House since I had multiple members of the church approach me yesterday about possibly attending my class with the mommies in the mornings. What an amazing thing to see all of these people, in the face of adversity, so willing to learn new languages and interact with everyone that is here to help! My classes with the mommies have been truly inspirational. Everyday we cover a different concept and the next day, they are eager to show me that they grasp it perfectly! They now know simple greetings, days of the weeks, months of the year, seasons, colors, numbers to 100, the alphabet, fruits & vegetables, parts of the body, how to tell time, and many past present and future verbs.

The kids classes are going smoothly as well. They are excited to learn and my main problem with them is keeping kids from going to more classes than the ones they are assigned! (I'm not too sure, but I'm pretty positive this isn't a bad problem). In my most advanced class we are reading the book Holes. Each day before we read, the students are successfully able to summarize the previous day's reading and answer comprehension questions. They are very excited to watch the movie when we finally complete the book :-)

The longer I am here, the more responsibilities I am given with the Hope House and I am loving it! From passing out the children's report cards to emailing information to their sponsors to distributing donations, I love that I am able to be here to help. Jean Marc, one of the older Hope House boys, decided today that I need to just stay forever and be Rachel #2. That is quite a flattering statement considering all that Rachel has done for the kids and how long she has been living here.

It has been raining more this week than it has been in the past so nights are a lot cooler- thankfully :-). I am definitely getting used to the heat, the long walks and the cold showers and sometimes almost forget I am in Haiti until I witness things like Friday night when my Hope House boys were hot-wiring a speaker so we could have sound for our movie night when we lost the correct cord. In situations like those, I always tell myself- "Only in Haiti!" :-)

Roseline was not happy on our walk by the river in Cabaret!

5 minutes later, she fell asleep.

As always, I thank all of you for continuing to pray for me on this journey. It is crazy that my trip is already halfway over and while I look forward to returning and sharing my stories, I will also be anticipating my trip back as soon as possible.